2002 04 28


Mad Hat Vagabond

I went praying after a silly family party. I think i lived at the John Franklinstaat again. I had a Muslim-reliquium that I hung to the wall. It was a cross with Jesus on it, and above it  a huge arabian sign was drawn. Below Jesus' feet was a little ball in which you could put essence.

I hung the cross at the wall and prayed. I felt lonely. I prayed I could see my brother, or that I could have a look at where he was, or that I could have any insight concerning afterlife.


I begged God to show me there was something, it didn't even have to be something 'better than life'. From the ball at Jesus' feet came a thick cloud of smoke that I breathed in. God then spoke to me.  First he didn't seem to like to speak to me, but things became friendlier after a while. I kneeled and prayed and cried, I was very scared. I shrank and it became harder to breathe. Then came the answer to my prayers, in the form of a black square with a white cross on it. And God said: 'Nope, there's nothing. When you die, you die.'


The He took my hand (without me ever seeing Him) end we flew out. He said He'd show me things. A neighbour with his flower-bed. Then God took the form of a young woman with short, spikey and painted hair. It was snowing in the streets. Vi came with her bike at her hand wearing a hood. She was white and had her curly hair painted red. She was very very beautiful. She wasn't jealous of the other woman I was walking with. But she was not to know that this woman was God.


She and me went into an alley, Vi went home. Unfortunately, I forgot everything God told me at this point. We went into a house in an alley and she said: 'I would not like it to be found dead here'. We went.


I lived in a flat. From the bath you could see the balcony, where guests arrive.  The door's made of this milky glass, you only see silhouettes.  I'm in the bath with a beautiful black girl. I am washing her breasts and shoulders and here Vi comes in. The girl gets out of the bath and Vi comes in: now I'm washing her instead. The bell rings. I think it's God in her female form again.  I think of a way to say 'hi' casually, without sounding as if I am actually talking to God. But it turns out to be a scary blonde woman, who's eyes are placed upside down in her face. She carries a child, with the same eyes. They are laughing, it's very scary. They push their upside-down eyes more up.


Then, I am on a roadtrip with somebody called 'Mad Hat Vagabond'. We hitchhike and at a certain point we are on a gigantic field between two dikes on which highways run. We see two hitching friends standing there, and we know Donald Duck and Diederik Duck have put signs there with conflicting interests. We know we shouldn't be there. We walk and then we ride horses.


A shout. We look back and a cowboy riding a horse gallops towards us. He asks us if we want to serve the caravan, and suddenly there are many people who'd like to go to a certain place in America. We don't know the palce.  A woman shouts into her mobile telephone. It bothers people. I tell her to not do that and then she starts shouting at me.


Mad Hat and me take the train at the viaduct. We carry backpacks and Indian drums. Other people are drumming and some passengers are bothered.  The female conductor speaks German. Mad Hat wants to get out. I want to stay until we reached the final station. Just before the conducter has reached us (we didn't pay for the train) we are on a big square where a big black cube is placed in the middle. The cube is Rudi Carell's tv-studio.  We go in, and we go down with a silver escalator.


At every 100 meter, there is a silver policeman stuck to the escalator. Like pawns. I salute every now and then. They look angry at us. Sometimes we see 'free-walking' silver policemen carrying mitrailleurs on their back.  They wear some sort of sort of bivouac-hats over their faces.  Coming down, I find myself very high up in the cube. This is the Italian Department, I shouldn't be here. Mad Hat can't find me here, so I walk down great Victorian stairways, shaking off the temptation to go in somewhere.


Hey, there's Don Bon Jovi, what's he doing here? He's walking the dog.  I go in somewhere, take place in a chair, inside  some theater. I see Mad Hat with a badminton-outfit: he is actually playing sports. The lights dim and onstage appear girls wearing transparant green veils only. They have well shaped bodies. I'm looking at one with very nice piercing breasts. 'It's very nice here' she says, apparantly apologising for her appearance. Then suddenly, there are a lot of these beautiful girls around me, all beautiful in an individually specific way, none of them perfect, but all very very beautiful. The room is filling up with guests and a girl asks me to move one place. Servants with more responsibilities do wear underwear under their green veils.


Put the V between the E's of eVe. The V is a mirror or a wedge, splitting the poles.